I wrote this when my teenage daughter went travelling with a friend for the first time:
Right now, I’m a fretful mama bear. For no good reason. Except that my daughter, aged 17, has finished her exams and is currently InterRailing her way around six European countries with a school friend. Which is brilliant, and should not be a cause of fretting.
I’m actually really proud that my girl is off exploring the world independently, and I know that she’s having fun and visiting some amazing places…but I’ll be glad when she’s back home, safe and sound and telling us all about her adventures. She’s been travelling with us since she was a baby, but this is the first time that she’s travelled abroad without an adult. I found that waving her off on her journey was really tough, both because she seems so young and vulnerable, and because I did the same thing at her age, and I remember all of the dodgy situations which I encountered. I survived all of those situations, obviously, but my heart wants to shield my children from danger, for ever, while my head tells me that I can’t, and shouldn’t, do that. It’s time.
So, here are my tips for protective mama-bear parents of travelling teens.
Itinerary
Before your adventurer sets off, get them to put together a detailed itinerary and share it with you. This should include details of dates, routes, accommodation (with addresses and phone numbers), flight numbers and times, booking references etc. My daughter was reluctant to do this, but I insisted. Because I’m annoying like that. If something goes wrong and your child calls you to help, your job will be much easier if you have all of this information to hand. It’s also good to know where they are – we have a copy of my daughter’s route stuck on our fridge, and it’s a nice daily reminder of which city she’s in.
Documents
Make copies of your teen’s passport, cash cards, tickets etc, and keep them in a handy place, just in case they are lost or stolen and you have to help sort things out.
Mobile phone
Make sure that your teen can use their mobile phone while they’re travelling – you’ll feel a lot better if it’s easy to keep in touch. My daughter and I have been messaging each other regularly while she’s away, and she’s phoned for a chat a couple of times.
Insurance
Travel insurance is vital – make sure that they have adequate cover. Insurance is the only element of the trip which I arranged for my daughter. It didn’t look like she was going to arrange it for herself, and I decided that I’d quite like the peace of mind of knowing that she was adequately covered in case anything went wrong. We have an annual family travel insurance policy, but it didn’t cover her for this trip, so I took out a separate policy for her. Both she and I have a note of the policy reference and emergency phone number, just in case.
Money
Make sure they have a means of paying for stuff while they’re away. Currency cards work well – they can be preloaded with cash before a trip and then used as debit and cash cards abroad.
Find My Friends app
If you and your teen have iPhones, you can use this free app. It’s a location tool which allows you to see where someone is, on a map, as long as their phone is switched on and they’ve accepted your request to share their location. I’ve found it really reassuring to be able to see where my daughter is while she’s away.
Fretting
(I’m working on this one). Don’t fret. They’ll be fine. They’ll have a great time, and even if things don’t go quite to plan, that’s good too, because it will help them to grow up and learn about the wider world. They’ll be back home before you know it, with a pile of dirty laundry and a ton of stories to tell you, ready for their next adventure.
Over to you
Do you have any tips to add? Have your kids travelled independently?
This is fabulously useful. My daughter is also 17… tho soon to be 18…. and after A levels will be off inter-railing too. I’m interested in how much kids need to budget these days, it seems like you can no longer sleep on Florence or Venice train station platforms!
Thank you very much.
nicola baird recently posted…How can I still go on an adventure?
You’re welcome Nicola – I hope that she has a great time!
I remember inter-railing at that age too. And of course getting into scrapes on other travels, (I’m not sure I’d have let my mum have access via the Find Friends app if it had been available!). The only thing I do nowadays is to photograph my relevant docs and email them to me rather than having a paper copy. Easy to access on phone that way..
That’s a good idea Christine – I hadn’t thought of doing that.
Quite natural to be concerned for your little girl whilst she is away. I do think about her a lot as well. It takes me back to when you and your sister (Later on) were travelling abroad on your own all those years ago. No internet,no mobile phones in fact no means of contacting you at all. Just had to trust that I had brought you up to be sensible!!!!!!!!!!! Lots of prayers as well.
I had no idea – sorry!
hahahhahahah this is cute love you mumma (and I definitely have a pile of dirty washing all my stuff is GROSS)
See you next week! xxxxx
I remember all that long distance travel by train all over Europe, and that amazing feeling of freedom. My Mum had no idea where I was in those pre-pre-mobile phone days, so I was quite miffed to get back to the UK and be expected to explain my whereabouts all the time! My daughter is 11 so in a few years’ time I’ll be a fretful mama bear myself and your hints will come in handy – except that technology will have advanced even further by then and who knows what we’ll be able to do. I’ve just seen on the Interrail website that children travel free with an adult up to and including the age of 11, so now my mind is wandering….
I didn’t know that – do you think you’ll take your daughter off for a train adventure?
Yes – maybe some train travel in Germany in the summer holidays. I’ll keep you posted!
Have fun!
Yikes, this is all coming up for me – as fretting mama-bear – in a couple of years’ time.
Thanks for the useful tips, Gretta. ‘Back in my day’ it was Poste Restaunte every week or so if you were lucky and a note waiting for you pinned to a traveller noticeboard if you were cool. I had no idea what I was putting my own mother through… so not everything has changed in a generation!
I know, I didn’t realise what it must have been like for my parents either!